The Self

Get to know yourself, only then can real change happen.


When you get to know yourself, you know what is important and what is bullshit. You can distinguish real problems from the BS and work towards growing your life, resetting it, or whatever change you see fit. Let’s say family is the most important thing you are thinking of, and to take care of them you need to be alive and strong. So, what kind of lifestyle should you be living? Obviously a healthy one so you can live long and protect your family. Going to the gym, eating healthy foods, maintaining income, those are all incorporated in your healthy lifestyle to take care of your family. When you know what is important to you, that is where you put your focus and energy on. Your mind will automatically begin looking for growth and opportunity.  

Why do people have trouble understanding themselves?

When you mention that you should put yourself first it is usually met with negativity because the self has to do with an enlarged ego. They are not all wrong though, especially in today’s world, just take one glance on Instagram.

But in this case putting yourself first is not taking a selfie, buying things you cannot afford, or being hurtful to those around you. Putting yourself first here means caring about the things that truly matter to you and eliminating the rest. You have a limited amount of time on Earth, place heavy value on your time and learn to say no and put down the things that do not help you grow. This is not to say you cannot just kick it and watch Tik Tok videos all Saturday afternoon, but when you’re doing that shit every day, you will be exactly where you are tomorrow and a year from then. Do you really want to be the same person you were last year? Do you not want to grow and progress in life?

Most people never change because they do not know what they want in life, they just think they do. Do you know what you want? We are complex creatures; we change our minds often and that is completely okay in this fast-paced world. That is why it is incredibly important to understand yourself. Are you living life according to your vision or someone else’s? Again, I ask you, what is important to you? Only then can you make decisions based on YOUR life, only then can you change YOUR life, and take on YOUR problems. 

Do not let bullshit hold you back, learn what bullshit is and throw it out of your life.

Bullshit is people who shit on everything you say, its girlfriends/boyfriends stirring up a fight just to ruin your weekend, it is the people who talk shit behind your back. Do not let these hooks dig into you, they will hold you down. How do you get over this? Put yourself first, get to know yourself, learn what is important to you, and work towards those changes. After a while bullshit seems like exactly what it is. Bullshit.

How do you begin to know yourself? What is the bare minimum you can do today to see a change tomorrow?

I always recommend journaling, but that could take a while, so here is what you can do. You want immediate results to see some sort of positive change in your life in the next 24 hours? Then answer this one question.

What do you want to do in the next 24 hours?

Think about everything that is going on in your life right now. You will not solve every problem you are having, but you will dam well know what you want to do in the 24 hours. Be realistic when answering this, what can you do make your life better in the next 24 hours? It can be anything really: Washing the dishes, reading those few pages of the book you been meaning to read, doing 20 push-ups, writing, painting, whatever. Once you have it figured it out, do it.

Every day ask yourself this question. What do I want to do in the next 24 hours? Then do it.

As the days go on you collect little victories that add up to huge wins. But most importantly you begin understanding the person who you spend the most time with. YOU.

Understanding yourself, distinguish real problems from bullshit, and to know what you want is the only way towards a better, more prosperous life. Putting yourself first for the right reasons is not the sign of a big ego but a sign of person who understands what is important to them and knows exactly what they want out life. Right now, the question is do you?

-Sumit Singh Randhawa

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